Attachment Style Quiz

Rate 24 statements to see your attachment anxiety and avoidance scores and the matching style: secure, anxious, dismissive-avoidant or fearful-avoidant. Not a diagnosis.

1. If a message I sent stays unanswered for a few hours, I start imagining reasons why.

2. I keep my worries to myself rather than tell the people closest to me.

3. I replay conversations afterwards, checking whether I said something that put the other person off.

4. When someone wants to spend a lot of time together, I start to feel crowded.

5. When plans with someone close to me fall through, my first thought is that they did not really want to see me.

6. Asking someone close to me for help feels awkward or weak.

7. If someone close to me is quiet for a day or two, I assume they are just busy.

8. I talk openly about what is on my mind with the people closest to me.

9. I keep a close eye on small changes in how the people I love treat me.

10. I am more comfortable talking about plans and facts than about feelings, even with people I love.

11. I feel uneasy until I hear that someone important to me is still happy with me.

12. When a conversation turns emotional, I look for a way to change the subject or leave.

13. I feel settled about where I stand with the important people in my life.

14. Leaning on someone I trust when life is hard comes naturally to me.

15. I sometimes hold back my own wishes so that someone close to me will not lose interest in me.

16. I prefer to sort out personal problems alone before anyone else knows about them.

17. A small disagreement with someone I love can stay on my mind for days.

18. I keep parts of my life separate, even from the people closest to me.

19. After an argument with someone close to me, I trust that we are still fine.

20. I enjoy it when someone close to me shares their troubles and leans on me.

21. When someone I care about spends time with new friends, I quietly fear I might be replaced.

22. Having plenty of time and space to myself matters more to me than being close to someone.

23. Reassurance from the people close to me calms me only for a short while.

24. I hold back from relying on others because people often let you down.

Answered

0 of 24

Rate every statement, thinking about close relationships in general (partners, close friends or family).

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Attachment theory, begun by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth and extended to adult relationships by Hazan, Shaver, Brennan and Fraley, describes how we handle closeness. Adult research measures two dimensions: attachment anxiety (worry about rejection) and attachment avoidance (discomfort with closeness). This quiz gives you a score on each from 24 original statements and the matching quadrant: secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant or fearful-avoidant. It is for self-reflection, not diagnosis.

How to use this tool

Rate each statement from 1 (strongly disagree) to 7 (strongly agree), thinking about close relationships in general.
Answer all 24; the result appears when the last one is rated.
Read your two scores and your quadrant; a score near 4 means you sit between styles.

Formula

Anxiety = mean of 12 anxiety items; Avoidance = mean of 12 avoidance items (reversed items scored 8 − x)

Three items on each dimension are worded the other way round and reversed before averaging. Each average runs from 1 to 7. Low anxiety and low avoidance is secure; high anxiety only is anxious-preoccupied; high avoidance only is dismissive-avoidant; both high is fearful-avoidant.

Example

If your anxiety items average 5.4 and your avoidance items 2.8, you score high on anxiety and low on avoidance: anxious-preoccupied. Someone at 2.1 and 2.4 would be secure.

Frequently asked questions

Is this a clinical test?

No. Research questionnaires such as the ECR-R are validated on large samples and used with norms; this short quiz uses its own statements and a simple midpoint, so treat the result as a starting point for reflection.

Can attachment style change?

Yes. Studies find attachment is fairly stable but responds to experience — a supportive long-term relationship or therapy can make people more secure over time.

Is one style bad?

No style is a flaw. Insecure styles are understandable adaptations to past experiences; knowing yours can help you notice patterns and ask for what you need.

For self-reflection only: this short quiz is not a clinical, diagnostic or validated psychological assessment and is not relationship or mental-health advice. Its statements are original to this page and are not taken from the ECR, ECR-R or any other published questionnaire. If relationships cause you distress, consider talking to a licensed mental-health professional. How we check our calculators · Full disclaimer

Last updated: 2026-11-08

Page address with these inputs: https://kakao.mobile/tools/attachment-style-test/

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Attachment Style Quiz

How to use this tool

Formula

Example

Frequently asked questions

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